It is never a happy moment when a marriage ends. Couples may struggle to patch up problems but to no avail. While it is a difficult choice, divorce may be the only option. If you are sure your marriage cannot be salvaged, then you and your spouse may file to dissolve your union.
But does it make a difference who files for divorce first?
Although there is no right or wrong for who files first, there can be advantages and disadvantages.
Is There an Advantage to Filing for Divorce First?
The main advantage of filing for divorce first is that it allows you to affect the subsequent proceedings. Depending on how volatile or amicable the break-up is, you can hold the element of surprise.
In especially fraught relationships, when you know your ex will retaliate, it might be beneficial to file first, thus catching them off guard. There are, of course, other pros for submitting a divorce petition first.
- Have a Say in Divorce Proceedings –The spouse who files first may have the chance to decide when court dates are established. If a couple spends equal time in two different states, the petitioner may also decide under which jurisdiction the divorce takes place.
- Properly Prepare for the Divorce – If you are the first to initiate a divorce, you will most likely have time beforehand to obtain the proper legal representation, as well as the appropriate documents and papers. It can also stop your spouse from hiding money or assets before the breakup.
- May Be the First to Present Your Case – In some instances, the court will look at the papers that were filed first. This gives you the opportunity to highlight your side of the story before your ex. In trials and hearing, you can also have the chance to present first.
- End Date of Marriage – Because California divorces are considered community property, the property and assets the couple acquires during their marriage must be divided equally. By initiating the divorce, you can acquire separate property and assets sooner.
- Immediate Relief – If you are involved in an unstable relationship, where your spouse has moved out and is not helping with the bills or refuses to let you see the children, filing for divorce can offer quicker relief. Divorce files can help decide matters of money and child custody.
The Disadvantages of Filing First
Like many things, there are also negatives to filing for divorce first. It depends on your situation because every relationship is different. However, some disadvantages of filing for divorce first revolve around money and strategy.
- You Alert Your Spouse to Your Demands –When you petition for a divorce, you usually have to list your desires or demands. The other party sees this at the time they are served. This allows them to know exactly what you want and come up with a counterattack.
- Sometimes Pay More Fees – The individual who petitions for divorce first might have to pay the filing fees. Because you go first, you may also have to pay more in attorney fees if your lawyer is busy gathering information.
- Set Forth the Dissolution of Marriage – If you and your spouse are discussing divorce, you make it solid by filing for it. Usually in these cases, there is little chance of reconciling, since one party has already made the move.
Should I File for Divorce?
Before you decide whether to file for divorce first, you may be wondering if you have exhausted all options to make your marriage work. After all, ending a marriage is never an easy decision.
The following are several signs that you should file for divorce:
- Lack of emotional or physical intimacy
- Lack of communication and even arguing in order to work on the relationship
- Most of your interactions are negative and you do not listen/support each other
- You only act like roommates or only parents, rather than partners
- You no longer feel like you need to make an effort in the marriage
- Your partner refuses to compromise or share their own needs
- You are doubting the relationship and yourself
- You and your partner have grown into two different people
- You and your partner are not on the same page about your future
- You have tried marriage counseling
Get Started On Your Rancho Cucamonga Divorce
At Family Law Advocacy Group, we understand how painful divorce is. We stand by our clients through the entire process. We thoroughly prepare each case, paying attention to the details. We are ready to go to trial if that is what it takes. Our Rancho Cucamonga board-certified family law specialist is waiting to help you. Call today for a free consultation.
Should I File for Divorce? Talk To A Divorce Lawyer – Call (909) 992-0188 or Contact Us Online To Schedule Your FREE Consultation!